Markera the Mommy

I have been a mama ever since 2003.  I gave birth sixteen weeks early, to a piece of my heart and trudged through fourteen weeks of visits spurred on by love and a wee bit of desperation.  I mourned her death buried in food.

In 2005, I carried to term and gave birth to a little boy. I call him my favourite son.  Breastfeed.  Homemade baby food.  Organic baby food.  Wholesome snacks.  The works.  "New mom" energy.  Only child devotion.

2007, working full time.  More confident with this pregnancy.  Despite being more stressed out, a full term baby girl graced us with her appearance.  Getting a business off the ground chasing a three year old made less time for as much "is this wholesome?" doting.  Her tastebuds aren't as healthily stimulated as her big brother's.  She weaned at three and half, however.

There are spurts of exercise regimens, attempts to eat properly, and hopes of taking care of myself.  The biggest wake up call was being officially diagnosed and medicated for hypertension the week my last baby was born.

Markera the (Ex)Wife

I got married in 2003, after meeting him in 2001.  I was five months along with our first baby, his second child.

We committed to each other in front of friends and family, sure that forever meant forever.

2012, I had had enough.  His crack addiction that resurfaced in 2004, along with rehab stints, church hopping, prison stays and missing items from the house sold for a pittance - it was all more than I could continue to function properly with.  Being the best for my kids came first.

I was working all the time, taking care of the bills, visiting him, covering for him, replacing what he stole, and just caught up in a frenzy of insurmountable madness.

I left.

In this time, 2012, there was a major dedication to my weight and health.  I was eating properly, exercising and weight was coming off.  The long hours at work, leaving my kids' father, dating someone new, it all begin to weigh in again...I am only human - after all.